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Habits & People Both Resist Change

John Maxwell astutely observed that: People can only change when they:

1. Hurt enough that they have to change,

2. Learn enough that they want to change,

3. Receive enough that they are able to change.

Change is hard for everyone. As a general rule, people will resist, avoid, even fight against change. Habits form throughout everyone's life. Many start at a young age, and are reinforced over time. Most strong habits develop to meet a primary need. For most men, porn enters their life in the teen years, when curiosity and excitement are at a peak.

 

Once it is tied to masturbation, a powerful incitement is activated by releasing strong chemical rewards in the brain. Young men quickly learn that this euphoric feeling can transport them from boredom, loneliness, emotion pain, restlessness, and rejection from others. Neuroplasticity research shows how this automatic process alters the brain's expectations and creates a strong subconscious drive. But it also tells us how we can change the brain. 

 

Change is the breaking of the chain that produces reinforcement of the habit. But that chain can't be broken until the hidden needs that reinforced the use of porn is fully understood. This it the core process of our pornography recovery program. Our coaches and counselors will guide to discovering the roots of porn addiction that is specific to you. Until you dig up the root, you cannot escape an addiction to porn.

Habits are Formed in the Brain

Men often justify their porn use as harmless, victimless, and minimize the addictive allure of internet porn. However, when a habit includes strong defense against negative feelings, such as loneliness, depression, or isolation, the brain sees the habit as good, helpful, and effective. When the habit triggers very powerful pleasurable feelings, the reward centers of the brain flood the user with strong chemicals that reinforce continued porn use.

 

Oxytocin and other endorphins like Dopamine are so highly addictive because they produce strong feelings of pleasure, comfort, and even love.

These chemicals are so addictive that very quickly alter the brain to create a preference for any behavior that can trigger the reward center to flood the brain with pleasure. There is nothing more addictive than evincing a strong orgasm at will. So when porn and masturbation are combined, the potential for addiction is strong.


When fully active, this addiction can actually replace the desire to be with a live person, despite any feelings of love, guilt, or commitment. This is due t the creation of Neuro Fusions, in the brain. Simply put, these are pathways that become wired together, and become the major routes that pleasure travels. They become very strong in preference for achieving pleasure, reinforcing any habit that allows them to be used. The brain will drive behaviors that activate this pathways compulsively, hijacking the will of the user, just like a drug. The internet porn user becomes an addict,  trapped in compulsive behavior. As a result, he or she must find new, more extreme pictures, videos, and scenarios to get to full arousal and climax since excitement requires ever new experiences, much like a drug addict needs more and more of the drug to get high. This leads the user deeper into preferences that are unlikely to be available in real life relationships. At times, this can render a man incapable of engaging in sex with a partner.

Escaping the trap of internet porn is not easy, but it is possible. We have coaching and counseling for those who wish to stop. Individual work is important, partner support is needed, and peer support is powerful. Our recovery model is both systematized and individualized, offering a safe, effective, and targeted approach to overcoming porn addiction.  Our model works, and is flexible to meet the unique needs and issues of each client. 

 

If you are ready to set up a free consultation appointment for yourself, or for your partner, to explore how to save your relationship and stop the abuse of internet porn, click here to be taken to our appointment scheduler. Schedule an appointment with Dr. Chuck Carrington. The consultation is free

Outside the area clients can access this program online through our encrypted, HIPAA compliant video platform.

To arrange a video or phone consultation, or for general questions, call

757-965-5450

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