Habits form throughout everyone's life. Many start at a young age, and are reinforced over time. Most strong habits develop to meet a primary need. For most men, porn enters their life in the teen years, when curiosity and excitement are at a peak. Once it is tied to masturbation, a powerful incitement is activated by releasing strong chemical rewards in the brain. Young men quickly learn that this euphoric feeling can transport them from boredom, loneliness, emotion pain, restlessness, and rejection from others.

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Neuroplasticity research shows how this automatic process alters the brain's expectations and creates a strong subconscious drive, until the until hidden  neuro-fusions are broken.

The primary struggle in dealing with porn use and managing relationship conflict is the difference in perception of the nature of porn use in a marriage between men and women.

 

Men tend to view porn as an activity that is not emotionally connected to a person, and is so familiar, a long-term habit used for self-soothing, that they fail to see the very real threat to their relationship, or even to themselves. To most men, porn use is no different than a few beers to relax after work, or a cigarette after a meal or when anxious. This belief is reinforced by years of excuses and social reinforcement from other men. This removes the barriers that normally exist that prevent otherwise good husbands from straying into cheating.

Lets start from the beginning. Porn addiction or abuse does not simply happen, it develops. And seldom is it about sex. Yes, sex is a contributing factor that makes it perhaps the most difficult addiction to break. But it can be broken, mastered, or managed.

 

Like any other addiction, porn use follows a cycle of behavior, well ingrained and automatic. It likely began in early adolescence. Learning about  one's sexuality includes curiosity and  excitement, which typically results in a habit of masturbation. When pornography is discovered in these developmental years, the result is a mental fusion, a cognitive connection of two or more events, beliefs, or sensations that become a strong neural pathway. This drives addiction.